I'm packing up and moving my LJ to for_beatrice I've wanted a different username for a while, and thanks to a bunch of drama that erupted, I found out that there was a way to archive this journal and leave it behind! XD

Soooooo...see you there, yeah? If someone seems not to have read this entry, let them know. ;)

♥
ali
chibi_death
for_beatrice

lisdfoioweuifckbhouwiyteoirfwusvdklhsldfujsdf

Exactly.

I wish I could focus. I keep quitting in the middle of books, and I have so many internet obligations that I can't possibly keep up with all of them in the time I have after work XD I haven't studied Japanese in so long... And my "hobbies" are always being taken over by new hobbies that I also have no time for.

I think I've complained about this before, but it's still a problem.

I should exercise or I'll die. Sigh.

Hahahahaha wtf, took from aya:

http://cbs5.com/topstories/local_story_159222541.html

Gay bomb. Not to kill gays, but to make enemy soldiers gay. Specifically so that they will want to have sex rather than fight.

What they don't mention is their underlying desire to then finally open fire on a group of homosexuals. Prickbastardsonsofbitches. I hate the government.

I can use the internets again. XD I finished at like 9PM last night (after many distractions, including going to see the movie again XD). Of course Steve stayed up till like 6 AM on Friday night and Saturday night, so he was done way before me. Then he went to Boston and I miss him XO

But my mom is here to visit, so that's good. I feel bad for her, though, 'cause I'm gonna be gone from 8-6 every day and probably dead tired afterwards X___X Sigh.

I've done this before, but I just got five questions from Sam, so...eh ;D

01. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."
02. I will respond by asking you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
03. You will post the answers to the questions (and the questions themselves) on your blog or journal.
04. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
05. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions. And so on and so on and so on...

My questions from Sam:
1) Do you still want to cosplay as Ulala? XD
Hmmm, this is a hard one. On one hand, I'm not really into the cosplay scene anymore, and I don't really feel like going to cons... On the other hand, it'd mean I was skinny. ;D So um...yes.
2) Do you think GreenKarat is a reliable site? (OMG, lame question, I suck)
Yes? Why wouldn't it be? XD
3) When you are fabulously rich and famous, will you help a sister out? ;)
Sure ;D
4) Would you prefer to be a villian or hero?
Seems to me villains wear cooler clothes, but I think I'd have to be a hero. Doing bad things really weighs on my conscience XD
5) A piece of sky falls onto your head (a small, harmless piece - to your head - the sky is still falling!). What do you do?
Bring it to a science lab! And then get on the news. Yeeees....the national news. ;D

So, Mitsuwa. It was awesome. Well, the traffic was pretty well SHITE, but once we got there it was sweet. There was a big fight that went on because of food and...well, it was stupid. Then we bought a bunch of stuff to make yummy Japanese food, like yakisoba and udon and tonkatsu sauce... =d I even bought stuff to make mochi! They also have a bookstore and a...goods store in the same shopping complex, so I got a cute planner and stickers and some manga. Spent a lot of money, but it was pretty awesome. XD

Also, I promised I would talk about the MENTOS GEYSER, which was our big fourth of July attraction. XD Apparently if you put Mentos (the candy--and it doesn't matter if it's mint or fruit flavored, though I couldn't find cinnamon) into a bottle of anything carbonated (soda works, beer works...anything fizzy, but it has to be freshly opened for best results), it makes all the carbonation fizz up and explode out the top of the bottle. The bigger the better. XD We did it on the back porch with several different beverages and two flavors of mentos (in the name of science!!!), and the 2 liter bottle made the biggest geyser, it went like a billion feet up and hit the ceiling of the porch. XD Results are inconclusive as to whether or not the number of Mentos affects the results. Also, it works in your mouth, which is HILARIOUS for bystanders ;D In conclusion, mentos + 2 liter soda = UNPARALLELED AWESOME

I think that's all for now. I decided part of an update was better than no update, but I'm tired and also simming and can't be buggered to think of all the things I wanted to mention at the moment ;D

I'm starting to friends-lock some entries, so...if you aren't my friend, get on it ;D

For a while I just felt like HULK SMASH, because things are so stupid and sometimes people are so stupid. Now I feel like... HULK SLASH my wrists because I'm supposed to be at work in 10 hours and usually I like to sleep for 10 hours and I'm never going to get to sleep for 10 hours again.

My life is overrrrrr and I spent my last day lying around EATING which is so counterproductive, and reading (which is sort of productive, but I'm reading something I've already read!!), and I turned down playing tennis because of my period which is really stupid and I should've just gone.

ARGH maybe I should just go to bed. ><;;

I feel like my emotions are really up and down lately. I guess I say that a lot. It's true though, a lot. XD Only two days until my life is over.

Sometimes I feel like I want to do something fun, but I end up sitting here like a lazy lump. Also we don't have any money. I'm kind of worried about money at the moment, since we seem to have gotten ourselves into debt again, and Steve doesn't have a job anymore. But shopping makes me feel good. XD Guess I need to cut that out. Or start selling stuff so that I can buy more stuff. Hrm.

Sometimes I wish I was somewhere else, but I guess if I was somewhere else, I'd wish I was somewhere other than else.

Sometimes I want to write lists so that I'll do things I want to do. Sometimes I actually write them, but I never do anything. Getting out my ideas and feelings makes me feel better and worse at the same time. Like right now, I should fold and put away all the clean laundry that's been piling up. There's no reason to have piles of clean laundry. And now that I've written it down, I think, oh yes, what a good idea. Then I feel bad for having no desire to actually fulfill that goal.

I've been watching this show called １４才の母 ("14-year-old mother") and it's pretty stupid, but I can't stop. XD The drama factor is FANTABULOUS. It's absurd the amount of drama involved. XD In spite of this, she tells the 15-year-old father of her child 「それでバイバイしよう、きりちゃん」 XD If you don't know Japanese, it doesn't sound as funny. If you translate it, she says "So let's say goodbye, [boy's name]" but literally it's more like "So let's bye-bye, [stupid girly nickname for the boy]" and she says it with this serious face... XD Ah, Japan. Watching Japanese shows always gets me more into studying and/or using Japanese. Sometimes makes me want to go to Japan, but not especially given all the CRAZY stuff that people have to do because of the rigid societal structure. oO;; I mean, sure, it's bad for a kid that age to have a baby in most 1st world countries. But you don't worry that your father will get fired from his job because it looks bad for your family, and your school doesn't ask you to drop out, you just drop out yourself. And of course there will be rumors and people giving you looks, but not to the crippling extent that this shit goes down in Japan.

Last night we saw Michael Moore's new documentary, Sicko, which totally freaked me out. XD My job won't give me health insurance until I work there for three months, and Steve's job is over. So we've got nothin'. If one of us gets sick or has an emergency, we are *royally* fucked. Also, the kind of stuff they give people in France... Hot damn ;D 5 weeks paid vacation, even for people who only work part-time. Sign me up!

I'm starting to seriously think we'll end up leaving the country. Maybe not forever, I guess, but maybe for a while... I like the idea of having and raising children somewhere I don't have to worry about hospital bills if they fall out of trees or get some kind of weird infectious disease. I like the idea of them being able to learn about evolution in school (because it's freaking SCIENCE, but we won't go into that right now XD). I like the idea of them turning on the news and seeing stuff about community and politics and world affairs instead of what stupid teen star got a DUI this week. Even in Canada, it's like....well, it's like a whole different country. ;)

Maybe I should start modifying my future plans... ^-^;;

Everyone sign the declaration of new patriotism to stop global warming. :)

The way people act is just so infuriating. The way they act to each other, the way they act to themselves...the opinions and ideas they have that are so stupid and unfounded.

Sometimes I am so full of built-up hate that I want to become a hermit.

Also, it makes me feel like a bad person. Maybe I should just go along with it. I always feel like starting fights, but I rarely do.

I want to go to makeup school. Have I completely lost my mind?

...I just thought...it was so much fun making zombies, and I've always liked doing Halloween makeup... It's something I could do as a paid hobby, you know? It wouldn't have to be a full-time job. Of course, makeup school is kind of expensive.

It just makes me even more confused about what I want to do with my life. Will I ever know? Or will I just keep spending thousands of dollars chasing dreams through expensive schools? XD

Encouraging: My chances of getting the job I wanted with the publishing company are rising.

Discouraging: My weight seems to fluctuate about 5 pounds, so I don't think any of my calorie counting or treadmilling has done any good.

Encouraging: My haircut is still cute. XD

Discouraging: Yesterday for some reason Steve reminded me of my dad. Blegh. Not, like, the way he was acting, but... I dunno. Some days, the things he does that I don't like/things that annoy me really get on my nerves, whereas they don't really bother me on other days.

I've been watching a lot of Bridezillas. I hate Bridezillas. XD Well, I like the show, but I hate the women. WHAT is SO wrong with something "bad" happening at your wedding? It's about love and union and being together, it's not about whether or not the ice sculpture falls over and shit. Jesus. Also, your bridesmaids are beautiful just the way they are, and that's they way you asked them, so don't tell them to go on a diet!!! I wish I could jump in the TV and smack them. XD

Sometimes I feel like... I dunno. I worry about how I feel, though. X__X

I guess I've started to accept it, and maybe be less stressed--MAYBE.

I have a second interview with the publishing company on Wednesday. I'm really scared, because I really want the job and I have no idea what to expect from a second interview. I've never been on a second interview. T__T My first interview was long enough, too. Like an hour at least, and I talked to 4 different people. They said they had like 50 full-time employees, the shipping department included. oO;; OH THE APPREHENSION

Today I got a haircut. It doesn't look much different, but I think it's really cute. XD I also got a skirt-suit and some new cute shoes for the occasion, because dumb temp-agency people kept telling me I'd never get a job without a suit. X__X

Wish me luck, I guess.

I don't think my diet is going so well. I'm still fat. T___T

I hate calling, I hate interviews. I guess I'm really full of hate lately.

I dunno what it is--the weather? The food I'm eating? The not-having-anywhere-to-go? I woke up this morning and I felt depressed. Already I felt depressed, just for being awake. This is seriously mental, but I don't know what to do about it. Maybe I should get more exercise. But how do you get motivated to exercise when you feel so lethargic? How do you get motivated to do anything? I sat around in my pajamas all day yesterday. I didn't even take a shower.

Yesterday I saw a deer in our backyard, eating the tree. It was fucked up. XD So much...wildlife. MJ sits and stares out the window, like, 24/7. At least she's adjusted. Well, Steve too.

I've spent the last...two hours? Sitting around crying and stuff. I just don't feel like doing anything. Ever.

Tomorrow I have to go to an interview at a temp agency about 40 minutes away from here at 8:30 in the morning. T__T I'm not looking forward to it at all.

Sometimes I wish we'd stayed in Boston. Sometimes I wish we'd stayed in London. I never really wish we'd gone to Japan anymore.

I think I'm going to have to be a receptionist for the rest of my life.

I just can't feel normal. Everything is really weird. I wonder if I'm giving myself some sort of calorie-watching disorder. ^_^;; I was really hungry and I wanted to eat some bagel bites, but I knew it was over my calorie limit, and I started to cry...

Then I decided to eat them anyway, and I feel like a horrible person... X__X And somehow I'm still hungry.

I guess I'll have to try harder. Or eat even less calories for the rest of the week. Yeeeees....

Yesterday we went out to look at exercise bikes, and we came home with an Xbox 360. Yeah, I dunno. Well, okay. I tried out some bikes and I really flared up my tailbone injury. T__T It hurt all day yesterday and some of today, too. I ordered DDR Universe, so I can do exercise that way ;D

Speaking of ordering, and Xboxes... I keep spending a lot of money. On one hand, it's not like we don't have any, because we're not paying rent or anything. On the other hand, we're supposed to be saving money for our wedding and our trip to Japan and stuff. On yet another hand, I don't have a job and Steve only has one till the end of the month. On....another hand (??? how many hands do I have???) I don't know how much I want to go to Japan anymore... I'm so confused about the future. Especially since at the moment I seem to have no future. Debt, calories, and living at my fiance's parents' house.

...awesome.

I hate it here. I hate it hate it hate it. I want to go home, but there's nowhere for me to go now. I guess I could move in with mom, but that'd pretty much break up my engagement, wouldn't it?

Apparently I can only sleep from the time of the last shrieking teenager to the time of the first barking dog. I got maybe four or five hours of sleep, and now it's going to be impossible for me to sleep again until everyone goes to bed (if tonight was any indication, around 5AM?)

I hate Richard and I hate his stupid friends and I know it's going to be much worse than this in the summer, when I actually have a job and a reason to go to bed on time. But what am I supposed to do? I can't just say "shut up and go to bed" because it's not my family, and I'm the one cramping their style by being here and living where they're used to hanging out. Plus, how old and uncool does that make me?

I'm trying so hard to be a good sport, but I hate the stupid windy roads and I hate the stupid ugly car and I hate the stupid mucky lake and its stupid boat with no lifejackets even though I can't swim, so I can't go out and get breakfast with Steve who left me here in tears, because what am I supposed to say? What is he supposed to say? There's nowhere for us to go.

I hate leaving MJ down here all by herself all day because we like to hang out upstairs.

I hate the stupid broken shower and the stupid broken oven.

I hate having to hang out with Nick all the time because I don't have any friends.

How am I supposed to stay here for 9 months? It's only been a week and I'm already miserable.

I left a bunch of cosplay and anime con communities today. I realized it's just not my thing anymore. Maybe I'm getting really old or something. =/ Somehow it makes me sad. I kind of want to go to a comic con, though. XD I would probably cosplay still. I'm kind of a freak. XD

We watched a movie called Oldboy with Nick tonight. It was pretty fucked up. I can't decide if I liked it or not.

Went out shopping today, spent a bunch of money. Life is kind of weird now. I wish things would start being normal. There are a bunch of kids and a dog running around upstairs and annoying the piss out of me. It's noisier in here than a dorm, wtf

So we got the car situation figured out. After about 4 hours on the phone, Steve managed to get us some car insurance, so we went down to the DMV and got the registration and now I can drive the car. YAYZ

We went to this place called Fatburger, which has Boca burgers and is pretty sweet. So that was good. Also we went to Target and bought some giant tupperware containers to throw our crap in ;D

When we got home, Nick came over, and we played a bunch of games, and also cards. Then Jen and Jack showed up with the dog, and Rich and a bunch of his friends came over as well. It's a pretty full house here tonight. XD

MJ met Pumpkin tonight, and it didn't go so well. She hissed and he kind of chased her down the stairs and we had to wrangle him back up. XD It wasn't too much of a disaster, but sort of a disappointment for everyone involved. XD

I'm not sure how I feel about Richard's friends being over. It's weird that he's all grown up and stuff now. Some of his friends seem like assholes, and he used to hang out with us but now he's always busy and it feels weird. Also I don't like that they're all young and fun and skinny and it makes me feel old and frumpy and especially out of place when Nick and Steve have skipped off to Dunkin Donuts and everyone else is asleep...